"America, we can not turn aft. We cannot keelhaul alone."

Equal Time PSA (Pirate Service Announcement) – Pirate Obama’s 2008 Acceptance Speech fer th’ Democratic Party Nomination fer President o’ th’ United States

To Chairman Dean an’ me great matey Dick Durbin; an’ t’ all me swabbie citizens o’ this great nation;

Wi’ profound gratitude an’ great humility, I accept yer nomination fer th’ presidency o’ th’ United States.

Let me express me thanks t’ th’ historic slate o’ scallywags who accompanied me on this journey, an’ especially th’ one who traveled th’ farthest – a champion fer workin’ Americans an’ an inspiration t’ me lasss an’ t’ yours — Pirate Queen Hillary Rodham Clinton. T’ Super Pirate Clinton, who last night made th’ case fer change as only he can make ‘t; t’ Brother Kennedy, who embodies th’ spirit o’ pirate life; an’ t’ th’ next Vice Pirate o’ th’ United States, Joe Biden, I thank ye. I be grateful t’ finish this journey wi’ one o’ th’ finest swordsman o’ our time, a man at ease wi’ sea dogs an’ land lubbers from world leaders t’ th’ bosuns on th’ Amtrak train he still takes homeport ever’ night.

T’ th’ love o’ me life, our next First Trollop, Michelle Obama, an’ t’ Sasha an’ Malia – I love ye so much, an’ I’m so proud o’ all o’ ye.

Four voyages ago, I stood before ye an’ told ye me story – o’ th’ brief union between a young man from Kenya an’ a young lass from Kansas who weren’t well-off or well-known, but shared a belief that in America, the’r lad could achieve whaterehe put his mind t’.

‘Tis that promise that has always set this country apart – that through hard work an’ sacrifice, each o’ us can pursue our swabbie dreams but still come together as one American family, t’ ensure that th’ next generation can pursue the’r dreams as well.

That’s why I stand here tonight. On accoun’ o’ fer two bucketfull o’ an’ thirty two voyages, at each moment when that promise be in jeopardy, ordinary men an’ lasses – students an’ soldiers, farmers an’ teachers, nurses an’ janitors — found th’ courage t’ keep ‘t alive.

We meet at one o’ them definin’ moments – a moment when our nation be at war, our economy be in turmoil, an’ th’ American promise be threatened once more.

Tonight, more Americans be ou’ o’ work an’ more be workin’ harder fer less. More o’ ye be havin’ lost yer homes an’ e’en more be watchin’ yer homeport values plummet. More o’ ye be havin’ cars ye can’t afford t’ drive, credit card bills ye can’t afford t’ pay, an’ tuition that’s beyond yer reach.

These challenges be nay all o’ government’s makin’. But th’ failure t’ respond be a direct result o’ a broken politics in Washington an’ th’ failed policies o’ George W. Bush.

America, we be better than these last eight voyages. We be a better country than this.
This country be more decent than one ‘ere a lass in Ohio, on th’ brink o’ retirement, finds herself one illness away from disaster after a lifetime o’ hard work.

This country be more generous than one ‘ere a man in Indiana has t’ pack up th’ equipment he’s worked on fer twenty voyages an’ watch ‘t shipped off t’ China, an’ then chokes up as he explains how he felt like a failure when he sailed’ homeport t’ tell his family th’ news.

We be more compassionate than a government that lets veterans sleep on our streets an’ families slide into poverty; that sits on its hands while a major American city drowns before our one good eye.

Tonight, I say t’ th’ American swabbies, t’ Democrats an’ Republicans an’ Independents across this great land – enough! This moment – this election – be our chance t’ keep, in th’ 21st century, th’ American promise alive. On accoun’ o’ next week, in Minnesota, th’ same party that brought ye two terms o’ George Bush an’ Dick Cheney will ask this country fer a third. An’ we be here on accoun’ o’ we love this country too much t’ let th’ next four voyages look like th’ last eight. On Novembree 4th, we must stand up an’ say: “Eight be enough.”

Now let thar be nay doubt. Th’ Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn th’ uniform o’ our country wi’ bravery an’ distinction, an’ fer that we owe th’ lad’s our gratitude an’ respect. An’ next week, we’ll also hear about them occasions when he’s broken wi’ his party as evidence that he can deli’er th’ change that we need.

But th’ record’s clear: John McCain has voted wi’ George Bush ninety percent o’ th’ time. Senator McCain likes t’ talk about judgment, but really, what does ‘t say about yer judgment when ye think George Bush be starboard more than ninety percent o’ th’ time? I don’t know about ye, but I’m nay ready t’ take a ten percent chance on change.
Th’ truth be, on issue after issue that would make a difference in yer lives – on health care an’ education an’ th’ economy – Senator McCain be anythin’ but independent. He spake that our economy has made “great progress” under this President. He spake that th’ fundamentals o’ th’ economy be strong. An’ when one o’ his chief advisors – th’ man who wrote his economic plan – be talkin’ about th’ anxiety Americans be feelin’, he spake that we be jus’ sufferin’ from a “mental recession,” an’ that we’ve become, an’ I quote, “a nation o’ whiners.”

A nation o’ whiners? Tell that t’ th’ proud auto workers at a Michigan plant who, after they found ou’ ‘t be closin’, kept showin’ up ever’ tide an’ workin’ as hard as ever, on accoun’ o’ they knew thar be swabbies who counted on th’ brakes that they made. Tell that t’ th’ military families who shoulder the’r burdens silently as they watch the’r loved ones leave fer the’r third or fourth or fifth tour o’ duty. These be nay whiners. They work hard an’ give aft an’ keep goin’ without complaint. These be th’ Americans that I know.

Now, I don’t b’lieve that Senator McCain doesn’t care what’s goin’ on in th’ lives o’ Americans. I jus’ think he doesn’t know. Why else would he define middle-class as someone makin’ under five cargo holds o’ pieces o’ eight a voyage? How else could he propose buckets o’ billions in tax breaks fer big corporations an’ oil companies but nay one penny o’ tax relief t’ more than one bucketfull o’ cargo holds o’ Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax swabbies’s benefits, or an education plan that would do nothin’ t’ help families pay fer college, or a plan that would privatize Social Security an’ gamble yer retirement?

‘t’s nay on accoun’ o’ John McCain doesn’t care. ‘t’s on accoun’ o’ John McCain doesn’t get ‘t.

Fer o’er two decades, he’s subscribed t’ that old, discredited Republican philosophy – give more an’ more t’ them wi’ th’ most an’ hope that prosperity trickles down t’ sea dogs an’ land lubbers else. In Washington, they call this th’ Ownership Society, but what ‘t really means be – ye’re on yer own. Ou’ o’ work? Tough luck. Nay health care? Th’ market will fix ‘t. Born into poverty? Pull yersef up by yer own bootstraps – e’en if ye don’t be havin’ boots. Ye’re on yer own.

Well ‘t’s time fer them t’ own the’r failure. ‘t’s time fer us t’ change America.
Ye be seein’, we Democrats be havin’ a very different measure o’ what constitutes progress in this country.

We measure progress by how many swabbies can find a job that pays th’ mortgage; whether ye can put a wee extra treasure away at th’ end o’ each moon so ye can someday watch yer child receive th’ lass’ college diploma. We measure progress in th’ 23 cargo holds o’ new jobs that be created when Bill Clinton be President – when th’ average American family saw its income go up $7,500 instead o’ down $2,000 like ‘t has under George Bush.

We measure th’ strength o’ our economy nay by th’ number o’ billionaires we be havin’ or th’ profits o’ th’ Fortune 500, but by whether someone wi’ a good idee can take a risk an’ start a new business, or whether th’ servin’ wench who lives on tips can take a tide off t’ look after a sea sick kid without losin’ th’ lass’ job – an economy that honors th’ dignity o’ work.

Th’ fundamentals we use t’ measure economic strength be whether we be livin’ up t’ that fundamental promise that has made this country great – a promise that be th’ only reason I be standin’ here tonight.

On accoun’ o’ in th’ faces o’ them young veterans who come aft from Iraq an’ Afghanistan, I be seein’ me grandfather, who signed up after Pearl Harbor, marched in Patton’s Army, an’ be rewarded by a grateful nation wi’ th’ chance t’ go t’ college on th’ GI Bill.

In th’ face o’ that young student who sleeps jus’ three hours before workin’ th’ night shift, I think about me mom, who raised me lassie an’ me on th’ lass’ own while she worked an’ earned th’ lass’ degree; who once turned t’ food stamps but be still able t’ send us t’ th’ best schools in th’ country wi’ th’ help o’ student loans an’ scholarships.
When I listen t’ another worker tell me that his factory has shut down, I reckon all them men an’ lasses on th’ South Side o’ Chicago who I stood by an’ fought fer two decades ago after th’ local steel plant closed.

An’ when I hear a lass talk about th’ difficulties o’ startin’ th’ lass’ own business, I think about me grandmother, who worked th’ lass’ way up from th’ secretarial pool t’ middle-captainship, despite voyages o’ bein’ passed o’er fer promotions on accoun’ o’ she be a lass. She’s th’ one who taught me about hard work. She’s th’ one who put off buyin’ a new car or a new dress fer herself so that I could be havin’ a better life. She poured everythin’ she had into me. An’ although she can nay longer set sail, I know that she’s watchin’ tonight, an’ that tonight be th’ lass’ night as well.

I don’t know what kind o’ lives John McCain thinks that celebrities lead, but this be mine. These be me heroes. Theirs be th’ stories that shaped me. An’ ’tis on the’r behalf that I intend t’ win this election an’ keep our promise alive as President o’ th’ United States.
What be that promise?

‘t’s a promise that says each o’ us has th’ freedom t’ make o’ our own lives what we will, but that we also be havin’ th’ obligation t’ treat each other wi’ dignity an’ respect.
‘t’s a promise that says th’ market ortin’ ta reward drive an’ innovation an’ generate growth, but that businesses ortin’ ta live up t’ the’r responsibilities t’ create American jobs, look ou’ fer American workers, an’ play by th’ rules o’ th’ road.

Ours be a promise that says government cannot solve all our problems, but what ‘t ortin’ ta do be that which we cannot do fer ourselves – protect us from harm an’ provide ever’ child a decent education; keep our water clist an’ our toys safe; invest in new schools an’ new roads an’ new science an’ technology.

Our government ortin’ ta work fer us, nay against us. ‘t ortin’ ta help us, nay hurt us. ‘t ortin’ ta ensure opportunity nay jus’ fer them wi’ th’ most treasure an’ influence, but fer ever’ American who’s willin’ t’ work.

That’s th’ promise o’ America – th’ idee that we be responsible fer ourselves, but that we also rise or fall as one nation; th’ fundamental belief that I be me laddie’s keeper; I be me lassie’s keeper.

That’s th’ promise we need t’ keep. That’s th’ change we need starboard now. So let me spell ou’ exactly what that change would mean if I be President.
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Change means a tax code that doesn’t reward th’ lobbyists who wrote ‘t, but th’ American workers an’ wee businesses who deserve ‘t.

Unlike John McCain, I will avast givin’ tax breaks t’ corporations that ship jobs overseas, an’ I will start givin’ them t’ companies that create good jobs starboard here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes fer th’ wee businesses an’ th’ start-ups that will create th’ high-wage, high-tech jobs o’ next high tide’.

I will cut taxes – cut taxes – fer 95% o’ all workin’ families. On accoun’ o’ in an economy like this, th’ last thin’ we ortin’ ta do be raise taxes on th’ middle-class.
An’ fer th’ sake o’ our economy, our security, an’ th’ future o’ our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten voyages, we will finally end our dependence on oil from th’ Middle East.

Washington’s been talkin’ about our oil addiction fer th’ last thirty voyages, an’ John McCain be thar fer twenty-six o’ them. In that time, he’s spake nay t’ higher fuel-efficiency standards fer cars, nay t’ investments in renewable energy, nay t’ renewable fuels. An’ today, we import triple th’ amount o’ oil as th’ tide that Senator McCain tookst office.

Now be th’ time t’ end this addiction, an’ t’ understand that drillin’ be a avast-gap measure, nay a long-term solution. Nay e’en close.

As President, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clist coal technology, an’ find ways t’ safely harness nuclear power. I’ll help our auto companies re-tool, so that th’ fuel-efficient cars o’ th’ future be built starboard here in America. I’ll make ‘t easier fer th’ American swabbies t’ afford these new cars. An’ I’ll invest 150 billion pieces o’ eight o’er th’ next decade in affordable, renewable sources o’ energy – wind power an’ solar power an’ th’ next generation o’ biofuels; an investment that will lead t’ new industries an’ five cargo holds o’ new jobs that pay well an’ can’t erebe outsourced.
America, now be nay th’ time fer wee plans.

Now be th’ time t’ finally meet our moral obligation t’ provide ever’ child a world-class education, on accoun’ o’ ‘t will take nothin’ less t’ compete in th’ global economy. Michelle an’ I be only here tonight on accoun’ o’ we be gi’en a chance at an education. An’ I will nay settle fer an America ‘ere some kids don’t be havin’ that chance. I’ll invest in early childhood education. I’ll sprog an army o’ new teachers, an’ pay them higher salaries an’ give them more support. An’ in exchange, I’ll ask fer higher standards an’ more accountability. An’ we will keep our promise t’ ever’ young American – if ye commit t’ servin’ yer community or yer country, we will make sure ye can afford a college education.

Now be th’ time t’ finally keep th’ promise o’ affordable, accessible health care fer ever’ single American. If ye be havin’ health care, me plan will lower yer premiums. If ye don’t, ye’ll be able t’ get th’ same kind o’ coverage that members o’ Congress give they’s self. An’ as someone who watched me mother duel wi’ insurance companies while she lay in bunk dyin’ o’ cancer, I will make certain them companies avast discriminatin’ against them who be sea sick an’ need care th’ most.

Now be th’ time t’ help families wi’ paid sea sick days an’ better family leave, on accoun’ o’ nobody in America ortin’ ta be havin’ t’ choose between keepin’ the’r jobs an’ carin’ fer a sea sick child or ailin’ parent.

Now be th’ time t’ change our bankruptcy laws, so that yer pensions be protected ahead o’ CEO bonuses; an’ th’ time t’ protect Social Security fer future generations.
An’ now be th’ time t’ keep th’ promise o’ equal pay fer an equal tide’s work, on accoun’ o’ I want me lasss t’ be havin’ exactly th’ same opportunities as yer sons.

Now, many o’ these plans will cost treasure, which be why I’ve laid ou’ how I’ll pay fer ever’ dime – by closin’ corporate loopholes an’ tax havens that don’t help America grow. But I will also go through th’ federal budget, line by line, eliminatin’ programs that nay longer work an’ makin’ th’ ones we do need work better an’ cost less – on accoun’ o’ we cannot meet twenty-first century challenges wi’ a twentieth century bureaucracy.

An’ Democrats, we must also admit that fulfillin’ America’s promise will require more than jus’ treasure. ‘t will require a renewed sense o’ responsibility from each o’ us t’ reco’er what John F. Kennedy called our “intellectual an’ moral strength.” Aye, government must lead on energy independence, but each o’ us must do our part t’ make our homes an’ businesses more efficient. Aye, we must provide more ladders t’ success fer young men who fall into lives o’ crime an’ despair. But we must also admit that programs alone can’t replace parents; that government can’t turn off th’ television an’ make a child do th’ lass’ homework; that fathers must take more responsibility fer providin’ th’ love an’ guidance the’r children need.

Swabbie responsibility an’ mutual responsibility – that’s th’ essence o’ America’s promise.

An’ jus’ as we keep our keep our promise t’ th’ next generation here at homeport, so must we keep America’s promise abroad. If John McCain wants t’ be havin’ a debate about who has th’ temperament, an’ judgment, t’ serve as th’ next Commander-in-Chief, that’s a debate I’m ready t’ be havin’.

Fer while Senator McCain be turnin’ his sights t’ Iraq jus’ days after 9/11, I stood up an’ opposed this war, knowin’ that ‘t would distract us from th’ real threats we face. When John McCain spake we could jus’ “muddle through” in Afghanistan, I dueld fer more resources an’ more troops t’ finish th’ swashbuckle against th’ terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, an’ made clear that we must take ou’ Osama bin Laden an’ his lieutenants if we be havin’ them in our sights. John McCain likes t’ say that he’ll follow bin Laden t’ th’ Gates o’ Hell – but he won’t e’en go t’ th’ cave ‘ere he lives.

An’ today, as me call fer a time frame t’ remove our troops from Iraq be echoed by th’ Iraqi government an’ e’en th’ Bush Administration, e’en after we learned that Iraq has a $79 billion surplus while we’re wallowin’ in deficits, John McCain stands alone in his stubborn refusal t’ end a misguided war.

That’s nay th’ judgment we need. That won’t keep America safe. We need a President who can face th’ threats o’ th’ future, nay keep graspin’ at th’ ideas o’ th’ past.

Ye don’t defeat a terrorist network that operates in eighty countries by occupyin’ Iraq. Ye don’t protect Israel an’ deter Iran jus’ by talkin’ tough in Washington. Ye can’t truly stand up fer Georgia when ye’ve strained our oldest alliances. If John McCain wants t’ follow George Bush wi’ more tough talk an’ bad strategy, that be his choice – but ’tis nay th’ change we need.

We be th’ party o’ Roosevelt. We be th’ party o’ Kennedy. So don’t tell me that Democrats won’t defend this country. Don’t tell me that Democrats won’t keep us safe. Th’ Bush-McCain foreign policy has squandered th’ legacy that generations o’ Americans — Democrats an’ Republicans – be havin’ built, an’ we be here t’ restore that legacy.

As Commander-in-Chief, I will nerehesitate t’ defend this nation, but I will only send our troops into harm’s way wi’ a clear voyage an’ a sacred commitment t’ give them th’ equipment they need in battle an’ th’ care an’ benefits they deserve when they come homeport.

I will end this war in Iraq responsibly, an’ finish th’ swashbuckle against al Qaeda an’ th’ Taliban in Afghanistan. I will rebuild our military t’ meet future conflicts. But I will also renew th’ tough, direct diplomacy that can prevent Iran from obtainin’ nuclear weapons an’ curb Russian aggression. I will build new partnerships t’ defeat th’ threats o’ th’ 21st century: terrorism an’ nuclear proliferation; poverty an’ genocide; climate change an’ disease. An’ I will restore our moral standin’, so that America be once again that last, best hope fer all who be called t’ th’ cause o’ freedom, who long fer lives o’ peace, an’ who voyagen fer a better future.

These be th’ policies I will pursue. An’ in th’ tides ahead, I look fore t’ debatin’ them wi’ John McCain.

But what I will nay do be suggest that th’ Senator takes his positions fer political purposes. On accoun’ o’ one o’ th’ things that we be havin’ t’ change in our politics be th’ idee that swabbies cannot disagree without challengin’ each other’s character an’ patriotism.

Th’ times be too serious, th’ stakes be too high fer this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has nay party. I love this country, an’ so do ye, an’ so does John McCain. Th’ men an’ lasses who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats an’ Republicans an’ Independents, but they be havin’ fought together an’ bled together an’ some sank t’Davy Jones’ locker together under th’ same proud jolly roger. They be havin’ nay served a Red America or a Blue America – they be havin’ served th’ United States o’ America.

So I’ve got news fer ye, John McCain. We all put our country first.

America, our work will nay be easy. Th’ challenges we face require tough choices, an’ Democrats as well as Republicans will need t’ cast off th’ worn-ou’ ideas an’ politics o’ th’ past. Fer part o’ what be lost these past eight voyages can’t jus’ be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost be our sense o’ common purpose – our sense o’ higher purpose. An’ that’s what we be havin’ t’ restore.
We may nay agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducin’ th’ number o’ unwanted pregnancies in this country. Th’ reality o’ gun ownership may be different fer hunters in rural Ohio than fer them plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don’t tell me we can’t uphold th’ Second Amendment while keepin’ AK-47s ou’ o’ th’ hands o’ criminals. I know thar be differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay an’ lesbian brothers an’ sisters deserve t’ visit th’ swabbie they love in th’ hospital an’ t’ live lives free o’ discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don’t know ere who benefits when a mother be separated from th’ lass’ infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hirin’ illegal workers. This too be part o’ America’s promise – th’ promise o’ a democracy ‘ere we can find th’ strength an’ grace t’ bridge divides an’ unite in common effort.

I know thar be them who dismiss such beliefs as happy talk. They claim that our insistence on somethin’ larger, somethin’ firmer an’ more honest in our public life be jus’ a Trojan Horse fer higher taxes an’ th’ abandonment o’ traditional values. An’ that’s t’ be expected. On accoun’ o’ if ye don’t be havin’ any fresh ideas, then ye use stale tactics t’ scare th’ voters. If ye don’t be havin’ a record t’ run on, then ye paint yer opponent as someone swabbies ortin’ ta run from.

Ye make a big election about wee things.

An’ ye know what – ‘t’s worked before. On accoun’ o’ ‘t feeds into th’ cynicism we all be havin’ about government. When Washington doesn’t work, all its promises seem empty. If yer hopes ben dashed again an’ again, then ‘t’s best t’ avast hopin’, an’ settle fer what ye already know.

I get ‘t. I reckon that I be nay th’ likeliest candidate fer this office. I don’t fit th’ typical pedigree, an’ I haven’t spent me career in th’ halls o’ Washington.

But I stand before ye tonight on accoun’ o’ all across America somethin’ be stirrin’. What th’ nay-sayers don’t understand be that this election has nerebeen about me. ‘t’s been about ye.

Fer eighteen long moons, ye be havin’ stood up, one by one, an’ spake enough t’ th’ politics o’ th’ past. Ye understand that in this election, th’ greatest risk we can take be t’ try th’ same old politics wi’ th’ same old players an’ expect a different result. Ye be havin’ shown what history teaches us – that at definin’ moments like this one, th’ change we need doesn’t come from Washington. Change comes t’ Washington. Change happens on accoun’ o’ th’ American swabbies demand ‘t – on accoun’ o’ they rise up an’ insist on new ideas an’ new leadership, a new politics fer a new time.
America, this be one o’ them moments.

I b’lieve that as hard as ‘t be, th’ change we need be comin’. On accoun’ o’ I’ve seen ‘t. On accoun’ o’ I’ve lived ‘t. I’ve seen ‘t in Illinois, when we provided health care t’ more children an’ moved more families from welfare t’ work. I’ve seen ‘t in Washington, when we worked across party lines t’ open up government an’ hold lobbyists more accountable, t’ give better care fer our veterans an’ keep nuclear weapons ou’ o’ terrorist hands.

An’ I’ve seen ‘t in this campaign. In th’ young swabbies who voted fer th’ first time, an’ in them who got involved again after a very long time. In th’ Republicans who nerethought they’d pick up a Democratic ballot, but did. I’ve seen ‘t in th’ workers who would rather cut the’r hours aft a tide than be seein’ the’r shipmates lose the’r jobs, in th’ soldiers who re-enlist after losin’ a limb, in th’ good neighbors who take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes an’ th’ floodwaters rise.

This country o’ ours has more wealth than any nation, but that’s nay what makes us rich. We be havin’ th’ most powerful military on Earth, but that’s nay what makes us strong. Our universities an’ our culture be th’ envy o’ th’ world, but that’s nay what keeps th’ world comin’ t’ our shores.

Instead, ’tis that American spirit – that American promise – that pushes us fore e’en when th’ path be uncertain; that binds us together in spite o’ our differences; that makes us fix our eye nay on what be seen, but what be unseen, that better place around th’ bend.

That promise be our greatest inheritance. ‘t’s a promise I make t’ me lasss when I tuck them in at night, an’ a promise that ye make t’ yours – a promise that has led immigrants t’ cross oceans an’ pioneers t’ set sail west; a promise that led workers t’ picket lines, an’ lasses t’ reach fer th’ ballot.

An’ ’tis that promise that forty five voyages ago today, brought Americans from ever’ corner o’ this land t’ stand together on a Mall in Washington, before Lincoln’s Memorial, an’ hear a young preacher from Georgia speak o’ his dream.

Th’ men an’ lasses who gathered thar could’ve heard many things. They could’ve heard words o’ anger an’ discord. They could’ve been told t’ succumb t’ th’ fear an’ frustration o’ so many dreams deferred.

But what th’ swabbies heard instead – swabbies o’ ever’ creed an’ color, from ever’ keel haul o’ life – be that in America, our destiny be inextricably linked. That together, our dreams can be one.

“We cannot keel haul alone,” th’ preacher cried. “An’ as we keel haul, we must make th’ pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn aft.”

America, we cannot turn aft. Nay wi’ so much work t’ be done. Nay wi’ so many children t’ educate, an’ so many veterans t’ care fer. Nay wi’ an economy t’ fix an’ cities t’ rebuild an’ farms t’ save. Nay wi’ so many families t’ protect an’ so many lives t’ mend. America, we cannot turn aft. We cannot keel haul alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more t’ march into th’ future. Let us keep that promise – that American promise – an’ in th’ words o’ Scripture hold firmly, without waverin’, t’ th’ hope that we confess.

Thank ye, God Bless ye, an’ God Bless th’ United States o’ America.

Ya lily livered scallywagz!

Pirate translation services courtesy of Syddware.com

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