Chris Skinner: Are you ever going to declare war on the Japanese and those Icelandics who are still trying to hunt you down?
Moby Dick: … I don’t really want to go after them, cause they’ve got much more advanced machinery than me.
CS: Have you any machinery? Have you like, sort of, like, flipper guns?
MD: Not weapons of war. I’ve recently discovered a spindle for my weaving purposes, but other than that, no.
CS: You weave?
MD: I’ve done a bit of weaving in the past.
CS: Tell me about it.
MD: Generally I get a bit of cotton around the spindle, I get me flipper, and [imitates sound of spinning].
CS: And what’s the end product?
MD: Usually a very soggy bit of cotton.
Segments of the podcast about penis size and cross-species mating may not be suitable for children and other living things.
Margaret Guroff is editor and publisher of Power Moby-Dick.